Willow conducted interviews with her friends at school – exploring a range of questions around identity – gender identity, sexual orientation, what it means to have your own identity and how you feel about other people’s identity. Willow combined these interviews with a series of portraits of her friends – that have both intimacy and vibrancy.
If you ask the questions…..
Baye, age 13, pronouns she/her, sexual orientation pansexual/bi-curious:
‘I think being a lesbian is harder than being gay because I think women are supposed to up-hold certain standards and too many men think that being a lesbian is “hot” and is stereotyped as being two hot girls making out and can sometimes not be taken seriously, or that all lesbians are man-hating women. STOP THE STEREOTYPES!!!’
Caleb, age 12, pronouns he/him, sexual orientation gay:
‘I think that being gay is slightly harder because being lesbian in movies is seen as “sexy” and it’s cool, and there is much more hate towards male gays.’
Eathe, age 14, pronouns she/her, sexual orientation straight:
‘I think both are equal because different communities and cultures deal with sexuality differently and many people are made to feel ashamed of who they are and who they love. They are also made to feel different when love is love!’
Owen, age 13, pronouns he/him, sexual orientation straight:
‘I think it’s quite equal but when you’re gay maybe it’s a bit harder, cause you lose your masculinity and change your looks and stuff. There is also hard stuff for lesbians but it’s good because both are getting more accepted.’
Innez, age 13, pronouns she/her, sexual orientation straight:
‘I feel that I can not fully understand the emotions of coming out for males and females but I do think that a simple TV show or movie, can influence younger children that a lesbian is just a sexy image and I also think that it’s advertised as so different that it can be hard to come out to some of your closest friends and family.’
Dylan, age 14, pronouns he/him, sexual orientation bisexual:
‘I am not sure. I know some lesbians not any gays.’
Ethan, age 14, pronouns he/him, sexual orientation straight:
‘I think it’s equal because they have the same struggles.’
Sebastian, age 14, pronouns he/him, sexual orientation straight:
‘I think it’s harder to be gay because I think it’s harder for boys to attract boys, as girls have more outlets and can wear make-up and it’s easier to attract girls.’
Sophie, age 13, pronouns she/her, sexual orientation straight:
‘I think it’s equal. I don’t really know. We learnt it at school, but I wasn’t really listening.’
Alicia, age 12, pronouns she/her, sexual orientation straight:
‘I think being gay would be harder than lesbian because men in the stereotypical world are considered to be macho and tough. If they are perceived as gay, it might make them seem not so tough and macho, more likely to come across as feminine. Straight men may see this as weak and target them. Straight men may feel let down by the fact that some men have given in to their sexuality, without realising that it is NOT a choice.’
Joanna, age 14, pronouns she/her, sexual orientation straight:
‘Although I feel that being lesbian in the modern society could be easier, I think that it can be equally challenging being gay or lesbian, especially in religious households. Although I feel that being lesbian in the modern society could be easier, as stereotypes in movies and TV show them as hot and sexy and trying to entertain men, stopping them from being hateful towards lesbian women. The other main portrayal of lesbians is of them being manly and tough and, even though they may not be shown as too friendly on TV, they are never really hated on. Whereas men, even in this day and age, often use the terms “gay” “queer” and “battyboy” as insults or ill mannered jokes. This shows us the negativity towards gays; a negativity that is not directed at lesbians as commonly. On the other hand, I think that lesbians and gays are accepted more nowadays. To conclude, from an outside point of view, I have witnessed more hatred or negativity towards gays, which leads me to the summary that it is harder to be gay than to be lesbian.’
Gregor, age 13 pronouns he/him, sexual orientation straight:
‘I don’t know. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. I felt gay once cause I saw a guy and he looked attractive and he made me confused. I think it’s harder to be gay.’
Laurel, age 14, pronouns she/her, sexual orientation straight:
‘I think it depends if you have been in a gay or lesbian relationship before. If you’re serious it’s harder for people than if it’s just a fling. It’s hard for younger people because of hormones and all that shit. I think it’s equally hard for both genders.’
Lyza, age 12, pronouns she/her, sexual orientation questioning:
‘I think it’s equal just, cause, like, you can like whoever you want.’
Interviews conducted by Willow Persephone Ginbey-Fear
